You would meet some six-foot-something handsome, mysterious giant and I wouldn't be there to hound him. ( she's betty cooper, she can do it all. he means that. it's his attempt at levity, slightly pushing her out of the turmoil and into something laughable. )
Come here. ( whether she obliges him or not, he's dragging her into his arms in some manner. it could be an embrace or she could roll with it, lean into him. he's not worried about personal space with betty, although for him, this isn't a line they've crossed intentionally and talked about. she's miserable and he hates to see it. ) Neither one of us has to find out.
And why would you hound him? [ as she laughs she lets herself be dragged into arms, moving to settle against him and into his embrace. it just feels nice and familiar. archie will always be home to her. always.
of course, his words aren't true. there have been months she's been here without him. there was almost a year. she knows what life is like without him. and now if he gets sent home, she won't have bellamy or emma to lean on.]
To make sure he's a good guy? ( after he says it, he realizes how dumb it sounds. ) I know that's up to you and you wouldn't talk to someone who didn't have the right intentions.
( he shrugs against her. with jughead he never had to give the hurt her and i'll break your kneecaps speech. he loves betty and he cares about what she feels and who she feels that way about. there's still a part of him that thought they would end up married somewhere down the road. if things had gone differently, who knows? )
This city makes everything, even simple dating, complicated.
So you're just doing what everyone else does? ( maybe this is too candid of a conversation to have when she's pressed up against him in any capacity. ) Hooking up?
( he scrunches his nose after he says it but it sounds better than meeting quota. too technical and oppressive. he'd rather not remind himself that they have to sleep around. )
i will always accept them. /brushes off the crust and dust
[ she swallows thickly for a moment, feeling nerves bubble up a little at the answer she has to give here.] Kind of. [ there's a pause.] I don't always meet my quota.
Don't they punish you for that? ( he may not be as successful as he wants to be at keeping the accusatory tone out of his voice. say he manages to control his verbal reaction, she can feel him tense up anyway. )
Betty— ( what? what, actually? he huffs out a sigh and squirms, trying to get a look at her while she's leaning into him. what can he do? knowing how she feels or might have felt and everything that comes along with that if jughead or veronica ever show up. not to mention how much trouble they would get into. ) Are you saying they're not keeping track?
What happens if two dominants and a submissive spend the night together? ( he's conveniently glancing at the television when he throws the hypothetical out there. ) Is that still a citation?
You know why. ( it's either a) he did something reckless and he's asking for what to expect or b) what he thinks she knows because he's already made it pretty clear that he doesn't want anything terrible to happen to her if he can prevent it. but maybe she wants to hear him say it, which brings up his own set of nerves. ) I'm brainstorming ways to keep you from being re-educated or locked in a cage with someone else.
[ she shifts to look at him better than she already is, shaking her head.] I'm not putting you in that position, Archie. [ he made it clear when he came back that he only wanted to be friends, right? that precluded sex, right? ] I'm... I'll be fine. I'm making sure to meet my quota. [ she pauses.] Reggie helps me.
The position I'm in where I also have to sleep with three people a month? ( copping an attitude with her isn't going to get him anywhere, it never has. he's only bristling because he can help ( at whatever cost to himself and betty ) and she's objecting. he doesn't pull away entirely when she tells him about reggie because it's not news, it shouldn't be news. they're contracted. it happens. )
Okay. If you're fine and you ... already have help. ( he's conflicted but he bites the inside of his cheek. )
[ this feels like a dangerous conversation to be having considering the things that happened between them last time he was here. and while doesn't remember them, she does. ]
Do you? Have help? [ pause.] Or... [ her brow says furrowed.] Are you upset about Reggie?
I can find someone. ( he doesn't have people lined up or anything if that's what she means. archie's problem is that they're also dominants. ) No. I don't know. I'm not upset that he's helping you.
( it's that she's shutting him out and it's okay for reggie to help but not for him and he shouldn't even be mad about that. he's the one that said he wasn't interested. he's not sure how to articulate what he's feeling or why. )
[ she doesn't mean to shut him out. it's just... in this place she's had to stop relying on anyone but herself. people come and go so often. even reggie who's been here consistently the whole time she's been here doesn't feel like a sure thing. he's going to move on soon and she'll have to find another contract in a month or two.
she can't offer to find someone for him, that's too awkward. she knows he can find someone himself. he's attractive and kind, he's less reserved than her too, it shouldn't be hard.
she takes a moment to measure her response, however.] Then is that... you want to find a submissive for... us to be with? [ is that it? does he feel left behind or is it more than that? or is it less? ]
No. I don't want to find someone to share you with. ( dangerous is the correct word here. meeting betty's eyes is challenging and she's not someone he wants to be comfortable lying to. they should be able to talk about this here where the impossible is asked of them every day and they don't have any of the reasons that would normally make them avoid it. archie doesn't have betty's memories but he has some of the moments from back in riverdale. their almosts, the might-have-beens. )
And I don't want to hurt Veronica or Jughead if they show up here. I hate the idea of you struggling to find someone every month. I hate thinking about you being locked up and encouraged to jump the nearest person. But if I don't have to worry about those things, then... ( he shrugs. he won't. he'll try to stop. )
Edited (i can probably spell/type) 2021-06-11 07:29 (UTC)
[ she catches the way he phrases it. the way he says he doesn't want to share her with someone else. her feels like it's beating a little fast and she has to remind herself this isn't safe territory, that every time they head down this road, before they can get very far, he gets sent away, sent home.
he brings up two names she doesn't want to hear but needs to. she needs to be reminded what's at stake even if she knows it's too late. jughead will be hurt no matter what happens if he comes and maybe veronica too. she'll bear it better but...
she blinks away from his gaze and looks down for a moment feeling shame for making him worry like this, to see him struggle because of her.] I'll find someone, Archie. I promise you won't have to worry about those things. I promise I'll take care of it. [ so he doesn't have to. she'll go to kind strangers if she has to. but for now, she has reggie and a few select other submissives she can turn to.]
( veronica and jughead will forgive them the universe as long as they're upfront about it and they hear it from their respective partners' mouths. archie could sleep with all of duplicity and he thinks veronica would get it. she wouldn't love it but after experiencing it herself, she's too smart not to be able to see why he did. jughead too, eventually. but he thinks this? them? it's not forgivable. )
I'm not ( he spreads his hands, gesturing in frustration ) trying to pressure you to go out and handle it either.
( he leans back into the couch, dropping his head against the top in exasperation. it's not so hard to look at her when he gives in to the exhaustion and lazily turns his head, slumping into the cushions. despite his better judgement, he reaches for betty's hand and cups it in his palm, folding his fingers over hers gently. )
[ archie's thought process isn't wrong. they could both sleep with everyone here and it wouldn't hurt jughead or veronica more than it would if they slept together.
the thing is for betty. this? them? it's already happened. she's already seen the hurt in jughead's eyes when he finds out. she already experienced the anguish of it. and so she should want to avoid it again, avoid hurting him or veronica with this, right? ]
I know, [ she says quietly, her eyes closing for a moment, thinking for an absurd moment that home would be less complicated than this place. she opens her eyes when he takes her hand and she shifts closer to him again, moving to lay her head on his shoulder like she's done so many times before.]
But it's somehow better than not having each other at all.
( he wishes he was as logical as the rest of his friends. wouldn't it be nice, emotions taking the backseat to logic consistently? there's a heavy feeling in his stomach that's likely only a fraction of what betty feels. he can't miss what he's never had. that's what he tells himself whenever that familiar yearning crops up uninvited. it's messed up because he does love veronica. but, there's a maybe that hasn't stopped haunting him after all this time.
betty curls back into him and archie holds onto her hand tigether when what he really wants to do is put his arm around her and tuck her into his side comfortably, hold onto like nothing can take her away. he wants to touch the side of his head to hers, resting without sleeping. saying everything without opening his stupid mouth. she's not looking at him but archie hasn't stopped watching her. )
When I first got here and you told me about us, and you said it was okay that I didn't feel the same. Did you mean that?
[ betty isn't sure if she can be anything but logicial in this place anymore, if she even has the capacity. it's the only way to survive here, to justify the choices she's made, the things she's done, as just ways she's made it through this place. when in reality, she's a little afraid this is really the person she is.
at his question, she lets out a breath.] Yes. [ she did mean it. she can't make him feel how he doesn't feel and she doesn't want to, especially in a place that plays with consent and toys with emotions. ]
I can't and won't hold you to things you don't remember. [ and she'd tried to move on from the idea of them.] Sometimes I wonder if I should have even told you...
( she exhales and archie holds his. what's the use of asking? what's he trying to accomplish? she's obviously conflicted. archie loves betty, he always has, but the type of love he holds for her has been a source of much confusion for him. he envies how in touch with her feelings she seems sometimes — it's the conviction she has in herself, the confidence and ease of which she tells people. he's not withholding with intimacy and he's nowhere close to unfeeling but archie has a hard time with being decisive. )
Why? ( does she regret telling him and not carrying the burden alone? because maybe archie would go on denying that part of himself but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. ) Because without a doubt, there's hardly anything I wouldn't do for you if you asked. Those limits might as well go out the window in dire situations. But I wouldn't say or do something only to make you feel better.
( he hopes she knows that. he wouldn't pretend for her. )
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Come here. ( whether she obliges him or not, he's dragging her into his arms in some manner. it could be an embrace or she could roll with it, lean into him. he's not worried about personal space with betty, although for him, this isn't a line they've crossed intentionally and talked about. she's miserable and he hates to see it. ) Neither one of us has to find out.
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of course, his words aren't true. there have been months she's been here without him. there was almost a year. she knows what life is like without him. and now if he gets sent home, she won't have bellamy or emma to lean on.]
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( he shrugs against her. with jughead he never had to give the hurt her and i'll break your kneecaps speech. he loves betty and he cares about what she feels and who she feels that way about. there's still a part of him that thought they would end up married somewhere down the road. if things had gone differently, who knows? )
This city makes everything, even simple dating, complicated.
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she leans against him a little more.] It's kind of why I don't do it here... dating.
idk if you want a crusty tag but i want barchie things in my inbox
( he scrunches his nose after he says it but it sounds better than meeting quota. too technical and oppressive. he'd rather not remind himself that they have to sleep around. )
i will always accept them. /brushes off the crust and dust
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Okay. If you're fine and you ... already have help. ( he's conflicted but he bites the inside of his cheek. )
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Do you? Have help? [ pause.] Or... [ her brow says furrowed.] Are you upset about Reggie?
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( it's that she's shutting him out and it's okay for reggie to help but not for him and he shouldn't even be mad about that. he's the one that said he wasn't interested. he's not sure how to articulate what he's feeling or why. )
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she can't offer to find someone for him, that's too awkward. she knows he can find someone himself. he's attractive and kind, he's less reserved than her too, it shouldn't be hard.
she takes a moment to measure her response, however.] Then is that... you want to find a submissive for... us to be with? [ is that it? does he feel left behind or is it more than that? or is it less? ]
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And I don't want to hurt Veronica or Jughead if they show up here. I hate the idea of you struggling to find someone every month. I hate thinking about you being locked up and encouraged to jump the nearest person. But if I don't have to worry about those things, then... ( he shrugs. he won't. he'll try to stop. )
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he brings up two names she doesn't want to hear but needs to. she needs to be reminded what's at stake even if she knows it's too late. jughead will be hurt no matter what happens if he comes and maybe veronica too. she'll bear it better but...
she blinks away from his gaze and looks down for a moment feeling shame for making him worry like this, to see him struggle because of her.] I'll find someone, Archie. I promise you won't have to worry about those things. I promise I'll take care of it. [ so he doesn't have to. she'll go to kind strangers if she has to. but for now, she has reggie and a few select other submissives she can turn to.]
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I'm not ( he spreads his hands, gesturing in frustration ) trying to pressure you to go out and handle it either.
( he leans back into the couch, dropping his head against the top in exasperation. it's not so hard to look at her when he gives in to the exhaustion and lazily turns his head, slumping into the cushions. despite his better judgement, he reaches for betty's hand and cups it in his palm, folding his fingers over hers gently. )
Everything about this sucks.
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the thing is for betty. this? them? it's already happened. she's already seen the hurt in jughead's eyes when he finds out. she already experienced the anguish of it. and so she should want to avoid it again, avoid hurting him or veronica with this, right? ]
I know, [ she says quietly, her eyes closing for a moment, thinking for an absurd moment that home would be less complicated than this place. she opens her eyes when he takes her hand and she shifts closer to him again, moving to lay her head on his shoulder like she's done so many times before.]
But it's somehow better than not having each other at all.
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betty curls back into him and archie holds onto her hand tigether when what he really wants to do is put his arm around her and tuck her into his side comfortably, hold onto like nothing can take her away. he wants to touch the side of his head to hers, resting without sleeping. saying everything without opening his stupid mouth. she's not looking at him but archie hasn't stopped watching her. )
When I first got here and you told me about us, and you said it was okay that I didn't feel the same. Did you mean that?
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at his question, she lets out a breath.] Yes. [ she did mean it. she can't make him feel how he doesn't feel and she doesn't want to, especially in a place that plays with consent and toys with emotions. ]
I can't and won't hold you to things you don't remember. [ and she'd tried to move on from the idea of them.] Sometimes I wonder if I should have even told you...
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Why? ( does she regret telling him and not carrying the burden alone? because maybe archie would go on denying that part of himself but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. ) Because without a doubt, there's hardly anything I wouldn't do for you if you asked. Those limits might as well go out the window in dire situations. But I wouldn't say or do something only to make you feel better.
( he hopes she knows that. he wouldn't pretend for her. )
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