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( she exhales and archie holds his. what's the use of asking? what's he trying to accomplish? she's obviously conflicted. archie loves betty, he always has, but the type of love he holds for her has been a source of much confusion for him. he envies how in touch with her feelings she seems sometimes — it's the conviction she has in herself, the confidence and ease of which she tells people. he's not withholding with intimacy and he's nowhere close to unfeeling but archie has a hard time with being decisive. )

Why? ( does she regret telling him and not carrying the burden alone? because maybe archie would go on denying that part of himself but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. ) Because without a doubt, there's hardly anything I wouldn't do for you if you asked. Those limits might as well go out the window in dire situations. But I wouldn't say or do something only to make you feel better.

( he hopes she knows that. he wouldn't pretend for her. )

[ that's the problem, betty doesn't know what she wants from archie anymore than archie knows what he wants from her. there was a time when he first arrived that she held onto a fervent, quiet hope that they could try to be together, to nurture those feelings they'd always danced around, the feelings that sprung forward after they'd had sex. not just the sort of sex this place requires of people but something... intimate.

then he disappeared, only to come back with no memory of it. something she thought she would have grown used to (jughead had been here twice with no memory, other friends too). but it isn't easy.

he deserves an answer to his question, especially when he admits that he'd do just about anything for her, just like she'd do the same.] I know, it's just... [ she lifts her head from his shoulder as she shrugs, keeping her hand in his for now.] It's unfair to you, I guess. That Archie wasn't exactly you, he'd been through different things. With me. And it feels like I put a burden on you by telling.

Oh. ( imagine having imposter syndrome to begin with and then having it amplified by yourself. archie would laugh at how ridiculous it is to be jealous of himself if he had the energy and the objectivity. of course, he's grateful for how honest they can be to each other ( definitely not themselves ), now if only he knew what to do with that piece of information. ) You're right. Not about the burden thing. You're not and you never have been, not with anything you've said to me.

I'm not him. ( he squeezes her hand twice and then retracts it, combing it through his hair. both of his hands end up loosely in his lap for lack of anything else to do with them. he wants to touch betty and that's something else he hates — if he despises it, maybe it'll keep him from repeating it. ) I'm still happy you were here when I woke up.

I wouldn't take it back. Knowing about us.

[ he pulls his hand away from hers and she wonders if she said the wrong thing, if she shouldn't have said anything at all even if his words do ease some of her worries. that she isn't a burden and what she'd said wasn't either, that he was glad she was still here for him.]

Okay-- [ she nods a little, shifting so she's not leaning on him so much, but not moving away from him.] And I wouldn't take back the things that have happened between us. [ she hopes that doesn't bother him or make him uncomfortable but there are times she's sure she wouldn't have survived this place without him.]

Edited 2021-06-14 06:20 (UTC)

Maybe we should take that as a win. You and I can talk about anything, share our best and worst moments. Hold onto each other. ( they're not literally holding each other now because archie heard what betty said. it doesn't occur to him that she's letting him choose, only that he's not the version of himself that she wants him to be. ) Most people don't have friends from home and if they do, they're not lucky enough to have you in their corner.

( he stops being lazy, lifts his head to idly watch the screen instead of telling her too much with his eyes. he had this crazy idea that she could sleep here, next to him — not as a means of pushing them towards something else. he imagined it with their clothes on. he doesn't know if he manages to remove the disappointment from his voice. )

[ she doesn't want him to be anyone but who he is. whatever disappointment she felt about him coming back and not remembering the things that happened between them was tempered by the guilt she felt about betraying jughead in that way. a part of her felt sadness but a part of her also felt relief.

and for once, it's archie that's not pushing her to temptation, he's being steadfast in this moment. so she nods in agreement, trusting herself only in that for now, turning her attention to the tv as he does.]

( sitting in silence with betty is a timeless hobby, something they've done since they were kids in their backyards or his garage. one of their houses in the living room, spread out on the floor. they've stared at each other through a shared window, wordlessly seeking comfort during the highs and lows. right now, it feels tense. he picks at his thumbnail, fidgeting, trying to wrap his head around whatever plot's unfolding before them.

it's a heist movie? maybe? he missed the last fifteen minutes or so. ) Do you wanna watch something else?

It's fine. [ to be honest, she doesn't mind it and she hopes that he falls asleep sooner rather. not just because he needs the rest but because she isn't sure how else to approach this situation.] It's better than some of the stuff on tv, right?

I know I said I wanted to watch something but we should probably call it a night. ( he is tired in a way that recovering takes its toll. he's groggy, but mostly he doesn't know what to do or say now either. it's awkward. he doesn't want their friendship to be weird like this. )

It's late and— ( i made it weird ) And we probably shouldn't be hanging out in my room after midnight if we don't want citations.

( it's true, although it sounds weak even to his own ears. )

[ she would have been fine with sitting in silence to be honest but she's made things awkward. even though he implies that if she stays, things might happen that earns them a citation. so she moves to sit up.]

Yeah, [ she shouldn't have said what she did, brought it up again. and most of all, she knows he's got to be tired, despite having been asleep for as long as he had. sometimes it just works that way.

standing, she smoothes out her shirt.] Call me if you need anything, okay?

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