[ a persuasive enough argument. she waffles on it for a bit. ]
The things that I've done to humiliate my Submissive won't do anything to help fight him. It won't stop him. I don't even enjoy doing it. All it does is make me feel like, for a moment, I'm in control.
That's exactly it. As much as I don't want the responsibility, I don't trust anyone else with it. But I'm not happy. And I'm not winning. Humiliating the Darkling doesn't get me closer to beating him. It doesn't help em fight him. It just hurts us both. Then he repays the favor.
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[ not entirely fair. but she'd always wound up in screaming matches with mal. ]
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It's actually nice to have a friend.
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The things that I've done to humiliate my Submissive won't do anything to help fight him. It won't stop him.
I don't even enjoy doing it.
All it does is make me feel like, for a moment, I'm in control.
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Sometimes... I get lost in that feeling. Sometimes it's good to feel control when the world keeps taking it away from us.
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As much as I don't want the responsibility, I don't trust anyone else with it.
But I'm not happy. And I'm not winning.
Humiliating the Darkling doesn't get me closer to beating him. It doesn't help em fight him. It just hurts us both.
Then he repays the favor.