perfectible | duplicity ic inbox

[ This takes a turn she didn't expect. And to be honest, she didn't know he was worried about this. Sure, she always had a feeling that was the reason he wasn't a big drinker, why he usually carried around the same drink all night.

She adjusts her hold on his hand, her head tilting a little more towards his to catch his gaze.] Did something happen?

No, not really. We had a good night.

[ Relatively speaking. Nothing happened after he went to hang out with Reggie. If anything, it did him a world of good - and maybe that's the problem. ]

But I was angry and tired and I just thought... screw it. For one night, I'm not going to worry about it... and then in the morning, it hit me. This is how it starts, doesn't it? This is how it started for my dad, and probably my grandad too. There's a reason we don't talk about him.

This is in me, Betty.

[ Oh. It makes sense now, why he's worried, what's bothering him. And she's more than willing to talk him through it, after all that he's done to talk her through what she believes is inevitable. ]

It is in you, [ she confirms. It won't do to deny it or try to sugarcoat it. Alcoholism is hereditary and she knows that.] And I can relate to being afraid of becoming what came before you. [ Her voice is soft but encouraging.] But you are not your father or your grandfather, Jug. And yes, using alcohol to try to cope is how it starts but one night isn't going to suddenly flip a switch in your head. I'm not dismissing your worry, I'm just saying...

[ She squeezes his hand.]The fact that you're aware of it, hyper-aware gives you a leg up. You've always been careful, so don't be so hard on yourself, okay?

[ There's nothing new to what she's saying, but it helps immensely to hear it from someone else. One night isn't going to change much in the long run as long as it's not followed by another, and another - the thing that scares him was how easy it was to give in. How good it felt to self-sabotage, to be reckless in a way he usually isn't.

He turns his head to look at her, a careful smile lingering on his face as he nods. Okay. She's right. Still, just to make sure- ]

Can you keep an eye on me, just in case?

[ Back home he wouldn't worry about it too much. He has other things to do. Here? It's harder here. ]

Of course, I will, [ she says with her own careful smile, her free hand lifting to touch his cheek again.] I won't let you go that way.

Thank you. [ He leans in closer to kiss her, soft and affectionate. ]

I love you.

[ She's so tired, like worn down to the bone-tired with frayed emotions and an aching heart. This place has done all it can to try to bring her to her knees and she wonders how much more the people of the city can take, how much more she can take.

His kiss, his love, his affection is a salve to that pain, that worry, to her frantically beating heart. Those three words are a truth she needs to hold on to, to remember, to trust no matter what they've been through and will go through. Betty could, would and has survived without him but it's not what she wants, life is so much better when she knows he's there, that he loves her, that he wants her and needs her as much as she does him.

She kisses him back and nods against his lips when he says them.]

I needed to hear that.

Edited 2019-10-23 15:42 (UTC)

I need to get better at saying them, in that case.

[ The conversation brushes up against what happened a couple of days ago and maybe he should let it be, but it feels like an infected wound that needs to be cleaned out to heal properly. They can probably all agree that a lot of what happened that night can be blamed on exhaustion, but there are still some things that gnaw at him. ]

...did you really think I was going to leave you?

[ He's not wrong in that the whole thing had been made worse by exhaustion, being worn threadbare by the war and every other element of the city. Compounded by her own insecurities and self-percieved shortcomings... it was a pipe waiting to burst.

At his question, she glances downward.] No. [ Pause.] Yes, maybe a little. [ She clearly feels uncomfortable with the next bit.] She's the kind of person you should be with. She's... a lot of what I'm not.

[ She can't look at him as she says that but she looks at him now.] I didn't know that was happening again... the wo of you and I wasn't expecting it. I felt like things were spinning out of control.

[ His entire being rebels at those words, but he can't exactly blame her. Lucy is a lot to compete with, if there was a competition to begin with and especially considering their past Betty's worries are completely reasonable. Even more reason why he needs to do a better job at reassuring her.

He tightens his grip on her hand, as if that would strengthen what he's about to say next. ]

You're the only person I should be with. Betty- you're everything to me. Everything. You're the only thing keeping me even remotely sane in this place.

[ If she wasn't here, he would be hopelessly lost. That's a statement of fact. ]

No matter who else might come along while we're here, you only have to say the word and it's over.

[ His words suddenly grant her a power that simultaneously excites, relieves and discomforts her. It soothes her worry, to know that he'd give up any connection or person if she were to say the word, although it's not a power she'd feel good about wielding, somehow it makes her feel more secure. The idea of controlling him in that way (and most others) twists her stomach, doesn't appeal (although in a sexual sense... maybe...) because she knows how he feels about that kind of thing.

And it feels good to be reassured that she isn't the only one who feels that all-consuming love, that sensation of having that one person be their everything, their rock, their strength. He is her anchor.

She squeezes his hand back, brings it to her lips as she shakes her head.] I won't do that to you but thank you for giving me the option. [ She glances at him. ]

I feel the same way, Jug. I need you to keep me steady and I want you to know that no one else is going to close to being what you are to me, that if I happen to find someone like Lucy... you can tell me the same thing, because you know me better than anyone else.

[ It's a fact he was confronted with the moment he woke up in Duplicity - he may hate being told what to do, or being controlled by someone else but if anyone was going to have the power to do it it'd be Betty Cooper. He can not only accept that, but live pretty comfortably with that promise. She knows him. She'd never misuse it. ]

Okay.

[ He probably won't use that kind of veto power either, but it is nice to have it said out loud like this. They're ride or die, no matter what happens or who shows up along the way.

There's a brief moment of hesitation - maybe this isn't the time for it, or maybe this is the perfect time for it. They're in a state of limbo, with the war, the so called election and not knowing what side they'll come down on or what that'll mean for the future. If he doesn't do it now, maybe he won't get another chance. This is it. ]

I, uh... I have something for you. I was going to give it to you earlier, and then- well. A lot happened.

[ He had a plan. October 2nd, during a stolen private moment in their backyard while watching some movie with their friends. There was a plan, to turn a historically awful day into something else, but you can't make plans in Duplicity. By the time October 2nd rolled around, he'd forgotten it along with so many other things.

He shifts in his seat to dig his hand into the pocket of his jeans, emerging with something small and shiny and probably cheap, but with enough sentiment to weigh up the lack of a hefty price tag. This was always going to happen, if not now then in a couple of years once they're out of school, out of their parents' houses, out of Riverdale. ]

I'm always going to be yours, Betty Cooper.

[ There's no question she wouldn't use the power given to her by the city to control him and it's the same for whatever power he grants her. She refuses to betray that trust he so carefully placed into her hands. She won't let this city didn't break them, to break that understanding, she just needs to remember that.

Whatever thoughts were in her head just a moment ago stutter to a stop as he fishes for something out of his pocket. It's more than just something, it's a ring. And while it might be simple and undoubtedly cheap, she understands the meaning behind it immediately. It sets her heart racing, has a flush spreading over her cheeks and a floored sort of smile curving her lips. Her gaze leaps to his face when he promises to be hers forever, pushing her out of her stunned silence as she let's out a shaky laugh, utterly gobsmacked and full of love. ]

Juggie-- [ She smiles and murmurs his name as the tears well up in her eyes, her hands moving to his cheeks as she nods, excitedly whispering the next word against his lips before he can actually ask her the question she knows in her heart he wants to ask.] Yes.

[ Because they may be young but this the inevitable, undeniable path they were heading down, come hell or high water. ]

[ Maybe this was an easier conclusion to come to because of where they are. This isn't a marriage proposal in the traditional sense - this isn't how he would've done it - but it's as close as they can get here. A promise, stronger, more determined, a symbol that seems to mean so much more here in a city where things like love and faithfulness are hard to come by. He's always going to be hers. Always.

He can feel a swell of warmth flood his chest when she responds and in that moment he realises that he wasn't sure what she was going to say. Maybe exhaustion is partially to blame but he can feel a matching sting in his eyes as he kisses her, deep and loving and never ending. ]

[ While she wouldn't blame him for doubting it, her answer couldn't be anything other than yes. Because as hard as things have been here, as difficult as things can be, she loves him endlessly. And nothing worth having is effortless, she's figured that out. Perfection isn't what she wants, it's always what she's been driven towards and she wants what they have, more than anything. It's messy and lovely and fractured and soothing.

It's home.

She kisses him until her lungs scream for air and even then, she leans in to draw her lips against his jaw, her hands settling on his shoulders and her lips curved into a happy smile.]

I love you, Jughead Jones.

[ She strove for perfection and he tried to pretend he didn't care about anything - in hindsight, it feels like they both needed to find each other to balance it out, to find the softness, the imperfections in each other. She's done so much for him just by being there, quietly or vocally supportive, admonishing when he's being an idiot, but endlessly there. How lucky can a guy get, to find that person when he's still so young? ]

I love you too, Betty Cooper.

[ And he kisses her again, knowing all of this to be more true than anything. ]

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